


You're a Sensation

by Angeltigerdragon



Series: MonsterAU [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Identity Reveal, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 19:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11675964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angeltigerdragon/pseuds/Angeltigerdragon
Summary: Daily Bugle Headlines First Photos of the Spider Monster! See the Menace that's been lurking in New York for Two Years! Anonymous source only at the Daily Bugle-J. Jonah Jameson.





	You're a Sensation

Peter stood outside of the Mansion. He looked to his right where Wade had been, but now, tried to scale the walls. He shook his head at the ridiculous mercenary.

                “Wade, there’s like a million booby traps in there. I barely made it even after turning off the sensors.”

Wade grunted and continued his ascent.

Peter sighed heavily and rattled the gate. He had the image distorter (the name he gave the device) and looked like any kid trying to enter an abandoned house. A whirring to his left and Peter looked up at a camera. Quickly, he returned to his form and waved.

                “Hi, uh, Mr. Stark. I….er, I came back,” he finished lamely.

A beep and the gates opened. Peter hesitantly walked inside, ignoring Wade’s vulgar curses at being shot. The man would survive and Peter warned him. He followed the unkempt path to the front door, which opened.

                “Not creepy,” Peter whispered to assure himself.

He entered and the door shut behind him. Peter’s senses went haywire and he felt his fangs flare. After a few moments of hissing and posturing, nothing happened. His ire fell and Peter noticed Mr. Stark had been on the landing of the stairs, hidden.

                “You done or is this going down like last time?”

                “That depends,” Peter said. “You gonna choke me again?”

Mr. Stark huffed a laughed and slithered down. Peter observed the muscles of the tail and how it held on. He had seen pythons at the zoo, but Mr. Stark’s bulk made this seem fascinating and terrifying. Peter was happy he would not be squeezed within those coils.

                “Deadpool’s making a lot of noise. I don’t know if it was clear, but I’m living here for privacy as a hermit. The neighbors aren’t nosy if there’s nothing to be nosy about, also remember: it’s Tony.”

Peter shrugged. He pulled out his phone and dialed Wade.

                “Hey,” Wade said.

                “You can come in. He won’t eat us,” Peter said.

A sawing noise was in the background.

                “Uh…yeah it’ll grow back. No, I am not spanking it out here. Yes, the bathroom…”

Peter listened as Wade had his tirade with Yellow and White.

Tony stared at him with slitted eyes.

                “If he’s not here soon, I’m calling Capsicle.”

Peter laughed.

                “WTF? No one makes Petey laugh but me,” and Wade hung up.

                “I think he’s coming in, but he won’t use the doors. How many windows are less deadly?”

                “All of them are deadly,” Tony deadpanned.

                “Then he’ll be busy. Wade gets on these vendettas that don’t stop until he’s essentially won. So, we don’t need to worry about him for a while. And if you do call Captain America, know that Wade will worship you. He’s in love with the man’s iron bums.”

Tony’s ears twitched in quick succession.

                “Whatever.”

Awkward silence.

                “Help me choose a tuxedo,” said Tony.

Peter, dumbfounded, followed his idol up the stairs to a giant room. A tree grew out of the floor and it was sweltering. Peter removed his hoodie.

                “Feel free to go shirtless. I do all the time.”

Peter did so and felt the moisture of the air on his hairs. He found Tony on the other side of the tree and laid out were dozens of tuxedo jackets and shirts. Ties, from elegant to extravagant, littered the floor. Peter stepped over the materials in his trek to the man-snake. It did not help that Tony would pick up a shirt and jacket just to throw it away. The floor became crowded and Peter webbed himself on a branch and swung to Tony.

                “I can afford dry cleaning.”

                “Well, I was taught to be polite and not step on clothes that cost more than my school.”

He stood alongside Tony.

                “And you know I can’t see that well.”

                “Just feel the material and I’ll describe.”

Tony hummed and picked up another pair. Peter touched it as Tony gave the details. This jacket had a shape with two lapels that had more shine than the rest of the material. The smooth texture felt odd against Peter’s clawed fingers. He was afraid he might ruin the material. He was assured not to worry. Next was the shirt. The shirt was white with pearl buttons. Real pearl buttons upon closer inspection. Peter gasped. A snort rumbled. Tony also added a vermillion vest with silver buttons. The design in the buttons was a unicorn as Peter grasped it between his thumb and index finger.

                “This looks nice,” Peter said.

He scoffed.

                “I could design a better tuxedo if this crap is ‘in’ right now,” Tony said. He then went into a rant on better materials and cleaner stitches. Peter nodded a lot during this talk but he only captured bits of information. “The vest works for me,” he finished at Peter’s quizzical gaze.

                “It does,” Peter agreed. His pincers quivered. “So…..”

                “So, why did I send you an email encrypted from Starbucks Wi-Fi location to come back? Maybe I think you’re better than that essay. Maybe you impressed me with how you broke pass my security system and got on JARVIS’s good boy list-which doesn’t include me-and how he mentions you once a day. Maybe it’s because I’m lonely and I found a friend in you to quote from _Toy Story._ ” Tony finished. He stretched his arms and doing so his tail uncoiled which lifted his torso higher. When he looked at Peter again, the boy had to look up a few inches to have eye contact. “Or maybe it’s because of these.”

Suddenly, screens appeared on the mirror. They showcased blurry photos of a shrouded figure in webs.

                “Care to explain.”

Peter sighed heavily.

                “You wouldn’t get it,” he said. “You can hide and have anyone bring you all you need and still be okay.”

                “Cut the bullshit! What the hell where you thinking? Selfies for some petty cash.”

                “I was thinking I could get a normal life back!”

Tony’s ears twitched. He lowered himself and was at Peter’s eye-level.

                “I-I can’t make Wade take care of me. He has his own life and I’ve been there to help him. But, he’s better than he used to be. He hasn’t unalived anyone in a year and SHIELD’s asked him for less whet work. Soon, I’ll be graduating and getting my GED and I won’t need to mooch off of him. The image distorter.” Peter fishes out the device. “I can hide myself. I can go to school again and-and I won’t be a burden on him.”

Tony stared. He put his hands together in a prayer pose.

                “The pictrues….”

                “Oh. Yeah, uh….I’ve always liked art but I can’t draw a human face unless it’s got anime eyes. I took up photography and I’m pretty good at it. The Daily Bugle was asking for evidence of the ‘spider monster’ and I thought I could bank on it. Honestly, the pay is shit, but it’s something.”

                “It better be worth it when the powers that be come after you ‘cause Pete, you just let out a red flag.”

                “Huh….”

_ Sir, Captain Rogers has apprehended Mr. Wilson. Shall I open the house? _

                “You know it honey,” Tony said cheerily.

Peter gulped.

 

The next Peter knows is that he is in a dining room and there’s pizza and cannolis with Captain America-CAPTAIN AMERICA-who has Wade tied down to a chair with rope. The Captain looks murderous at Wade and Peter can guess why.

                “Hi,” he squeaks.

                “I repeat: WTH?!” Wade shouts.

                “Hi, Wade,” he says to his friend.

                “Capsicle,” Tony says and slivers to the head of the table.

Peter stands in the doorway, dumbfounded frozen, and scared. He says the first thing in his head.

                “Did Wade touch your butt?”

Captain America’s eyes bulge in his cowl.

Wade giggles in the chair. “I sure did, Petey-Pie. But don’t worry, I’m sure your ass will grow into a beautifully plumped peach too.”

Wade is thrown to the ground by Tony’s tail.

Captain America gives him a look.

                “Don’t even, Steve. And you, how’d you get pass everything? I made sure that the stuff outside would keep you busy for at least a day. JARVIS.”

                _I apologize, sir. Deadpool has simultaneously taken out our lawn defenses—_

                “Even the gnomes!”

                _Yes and that one of the windows did not close in time before Deadpool tore it open._

                “Great. ‘pool, you owe me a new window and don’t act like you can’t pay. I know your salary.”

                “I broke the window,” Captain America speaks up. “JARVIS knows my salary too.”

At this point, Peter loses it.

                “You’re Captain America,” he says. Then he says louder: “Oh god, Wade touched your butt! Weasel won’t believe this. He’ll owe Al like $400 or something. Oh my god! Captain America.”

The captain gets up and he smiles sheepishly at Peter.

                “Come join us for lunch, son.”

Peter does and throughout the meal he is in cloud nine. Wade is righted by Captain-Please-Call-Me-Steve-America and it is a peaceful meal.

Until Wade says: “What’s the goal here?”

The tone is light, airy, but Peter hears the warning. His hair bristles a bit at the intention behind the question. Wade’s still tied up and his weapons are locked away if Peter guesses. The man is till dangerous and can escape. The room is tense as Tony picks at his claws and picks them. Steve stares at Wade.

                “It depends on what Peter wants,” Steve says.

* * *

 

Steve’s thumb is on the comm button attached to his glove. If he applies the right amount of pressure, then he can get back up quick. Sam and Lang are on-site at the café down the block and Clint’s on the roof. Natasha’s keeping Fury busy with a mission. Logan’s out of the country for SHIELD. Hope is on the roof of the mansion as first response to grab Peter and Tony if this goes down ugly. JARVIS has two minutes to, if necessary, lock the mansion if Deadpool flies off his rocker.

Steve leans back in the chair and looks at Peter dead on. This is the first he’s seen him outside of footage. Even with the arachnid features, the boy’s face is similar to the one the device uses.

Peter stares at them and at Wade. His eight eyes blink. The spider bits mixed well with human traits as Steve watches the black sclera as Peter’s pincers quiver.

                “What’s going on?” he says, guarded.

Steve can see the nervous energy coming off the boy; Deadpool next to him has gotten out of the ropes. Steve can tell. Tony fiddles with the Rolex on his wrist. Steve is happy Tony prepares for the worst when the odds are unfavorable.

                “Peter,” Steve begins. “I and the Avengers have known about you for some time.” Begin small and ease the target. “We’ve been monitoring your progress in Queens and Midtown. We think you will be a great ally to the team.” Flattery. “What I want to know is how involved you would like to be?” Let them make the call.

Peter stares with an open gap. The jaw splits open completely; Steve’s time with Tony and Loki’s tricks has prepared him for strange sights. Steve waits for Peter to talk. Unfortunately, Deadpool opens his big mouth.

                “Fucking seriously! You assfaces. I warned you. I told you to leave him and me alone!”

Deadpool shoots out of the chair and grabs the spork. Tony and Steve are ready in unison.

                “STOP!”

They do.

Peter shakes and pants at his seat.

                “Peter,” Deadpool says gently.

                “What the hell is going on?” Peter says.

Steve takes his thumb off the button. He grabs his shield and places it on the table. Tony holds out the arm with the repulsor glove and stares at Steve like he is crazy. He probably is when Deadpool takes the shield and jumps on the table for Peter. They only get a few steps away when the doors burst open with Hope leading the others.

                “Stand down, Deadpool,” she commands. In the Wasp armor, her wings look menacing.

They are at a stale mate with Deadpool gripping Steve’s shield and Peter.

                “Please,” says a small voice. “Someone tell me what’s happening…..”

 

 

The team sit at the dining table with Deadpool at the end and Peter at his side. The mercenary has not returned Steve’s shield, which has Clint and Sam on high alert. Hope seems at ease as she munches on a cannoli with Scott. Steve sits with Tony on the other end of the table and begins again.

                “As I said, we’ve known about you. Specifically, Black Widow and I; the two of us found out about you after you saved those people in the ferry. No one believed them when they claimed to see a giant spider making webs to stop the life rafts from falling into the Hudson. I almost thought it was panic induced hysteria until two factors were brought in: the web residue too large for normal spiders and the fact that a raft was missing. We researched and found rumors of a giant spider monster living in Queens, Brooklyn, Midtown, and recently Chelsea,” Steve lists off the sightings. Peter shuffles in his seat.

By pure chance and carelessness on your part, we were able to scrap some footage on surveillance of a figure. We had Dr. Banner analyze it. He says it was definitely an arachnid being with human features. From there, we looked deeper at some other intel from Wolverine about the Weapon X project.” Steve continues by taking out the papers Natasha gave him. “We found the article of an intern who died from one of the spiders at OSCORP labs. The spiders were killed after that, but not before some of the boys at SHIELD captured a few. The DNA in them had the same altering affects as the other experiments from Weapon X. From there, Dr. Banner could make some assumptions that the dead intern and the spider were connected. It was not until when Deadpool had half of his brain chopped off that we found the dots and realized you were the spider.”

“When did you have your head chopped off?” Peter asks Wade.

“On my mission to Jacksonville. I don’t recall any of it but Agent says I wouldn’t shut up more than usual. I guess stuff slipped out,” Wade answers.

“Hell yeah,” Scott says. “I watched the feed on that. You traumatized a few guys when you got into your Greatest Dreams Montage.” Scott laughs as Hope nudges his ribcage. “Ow! Babe.”

“Shut up. This is serious.”

Steve ignores the couple for watching Peter’s face. He seems calm, but it is hard to tell. The boy looks at Deadpool like a lifeline. He whispers something in Deadpool’s ear.

                “Abso-fucking not,” Deadpool says.

                “Wade,” Peter says.

                “No.”

                “Please. I won’t stand it if this happens to someone else,” Peter says.

The table is quiet.

Deadpool groans loudly and he slides the shield down the table to Steve. On its journey, the left over pizza and cannolis tilt off the table. They hit Scott because Hope gets up.

                “Peter’s in,” Deadpool says. “One condition.”

                “What is it?” Tony asks suspicious.

                “I want to bring OSCORP down and to trial. I want Norman Osborn to see my face again and know his money can’t get rid of the truth. I want him to see that I didn’t hide because I was afraid. I did it to fucking pin him for the shit he’s done,” Peter says.

                “Language,” Steve says but he smiles big.

**Author's Note:**

> So, even though they are tagged as a couple Spideypool and Stony are not official couples, yet. Peter thinks Wade is not interested and Wade thinks Peter's too young (17). Tony and Steve are just dummies.


End file.
